an old refrain - by jori marie rillera

an old refrain

i'm attending
a songwriting workshop
in a little house in marin
i am freezing
everyone here
is freezing
folk are giving me
the stink eye
but i need the windows open
because of my cat allergy
and the teacher has a fluffy one

i'm surrounded by people
who make their living
by writing songs
i should be intimidated
but instead
i'm amused

i'm not here because
i'm a songwriter
i'm here because a friend
didn't want to go by herself
so i have no illusions
or aspirations
or imposter syndrome
i'm here to learn

i gamely participate
in every songwriting exercise
and when i share
my impromptu tunes
there are exclamations
of dismay and disbelief
folk wonder why
this is so easy for me

i look around
at the puzzled
frozen faces
the cat slinks
behind the sofa
as i finally realize
i am the only
person of color
in the room
singing
her heart out

–jori marie rillera