Family Support
By Huma Nasery, Toronto, Canada
It’s 9 am on June 19, 2020. I wake up with one thought in my mind: to call my cousin to ask about the health of my aunt and uncle, who are ill with COVID-19. This cousin of mine is a doctor, so I know she will give me accurate information. She tells me that her father, my uncle, is getting better, but that my aunt is not feeling well and should remain in the hospital for two more weeks, as the virus has affected both of her lungs. I find talking to her a little worrying, so I call other family members to ask about my aunt. No one answers; I leave voice mails.
During this time, a friend calls me. She diverts my mind from the hospital where my aunt is hospitalized to a conversation about general things and the philosophy of life. I enjoy the conversation, it makes me forget about the poignant side of the world for a while. After we hang up, I go to make tea. I am standing in the kitchen, talking with my roommate, when I receive a voice mail from my cousin.
With a voice full of ache and agony, she says, “Your aunt passed away.”
Hearing this, I feel the blood drying up in my veins. Everything seems blurred, and I lose the power to keep standing. I sit on a nearby chair and burst into tears.
My devastated parents call to console me. I live alone in Canada and was already going through an unpleasant experience of separation from friends and a departure from my everyday routines. On top of this, losing an aunt was very hard on me.
The whole thing takes me back to the years when I first found myself alone, living away from my family back home in Afghanistan. I thought I was used to this life in the west, and that I had immersed myself well in an individualistic society and didn’t need my family as much, but I am totally wrong.
Even though traveling is not advised, I book a ticket to Phoenix, Arizona, where my sister lives. She has two babies, seven months and two and a half years old. Being with her gives me the energy that I need. We grieve together, we share memories of our aunt, we lean on each other when we feel shaky. I also help my sister with babysitting– I don’t have kids, but hers feel like my own. I love spending time with them.
Nowadays, we live in a world where people have more access to their phones than to family members. But technology will never be able to replace the support of family.