Phone

By Riza Wilford, Contra Costa County, California, U.S.

I was adjusting my camera phone as I listened to my client's birth story during her initial postpartum visit. I was hoping my anger, frustration, and anxiety were not obvious. She had recently had a C-section. This client is developmentally delayed, not in a a way that’s obvious, but she is aware of her own disabilities. As I was listening, I realized how much her birth experience, discharge, and postpartum care were impacted by COVID-19.

She was discharged so quickly, without all the proper instructions. As she continued with her story, I felt these feelings rise. Frustration that I could not be there to check on her, educate her on basic things she needed. Frustration that as much as I tried to explain things to her, she could not fully grasp concepts. Anxiety that I could not see how she was mixing the breastmilk with the formula and check on the baby. Anxiety that I could not be there to check on mom's well being and give her proper instructions on how to use the blood pressure cuff that was mailed to her. Anger that she did not have a follow up appointment set up. Anger at my own limitation through this phone. Anger that COVID-19 has amplified the health disparities for my clients.

Frustration, anxiety, and anger that I cannot be the nurse I used to be … and awareness that I must now figure out new ways to be there for my clients, through the lens of a phone.