Black and White Magic, by Vani Viswanathan, New Delhi

Born and raised in Chennai, Tamil Nadu, and now residing in New Delhi, Vani writes to make sense of her days and thoughts, sometimes spinning sentences in her head even as she observes something.

When I hear the ‘thop!’ every morning, the sound of the newspaper tossed up from the ground to the third floor by the delivery person, my mind races to pick it up even as I tell my body to hold on, to calm down. I get through a quick meditation, make my chai and drink it, all the while desperate to grab the paper, even as my partner’s watchful eyes (and sometimes actions) keep me away from it. 

I’m not dying to read the news and learn about the latest miseries unfolding in these already-abysmal times. I’m eager to get to the crossword. 

I discovered the crossword quite by accident two months ago, when I was tired at the end of another day of working from home– a Friday, in fact, which in pre-COVID times would have kickstarted a weekend of being out in the city. I was desperate for a non-screen activity to unwind, and I picked up the newspaper and thought, Why not? as I looked at the crossword for the first time. 

The fascination began slowly, as I discovered that I could crack at least half the puzzle easily, and the remaining words challenged me enough to keep it interesting. I began to cut out and store the puzzles after completing them to the best of my ability . A few days after I started solving them, I realized I could google any clue and find the answer, and that went on for a while, until I admitted I was using google as a crutch for clues that I could have easily cracked on my own. I began to mark every word I found through google to shame myself– after all, the process of battling a clue was as good as the glow from a solved puzzle. I did shamelessly google clues that I knew I didn’t know– the name of a Crimean port, for instance. Thanks to the crossword, I learned that Los Angeles has a port, and that ‘report’ can also mean an explosion, and ‘nemesis’ was more than just a fancy word for ‘enemy’. 

There are times when I eagerly go to the crossword for a break, during my workdays. Times when I dream of little black and white boxes at night. Times when looking for a synonym, even for official writing, activates my crossword-solving mode. I love to read and write, and the crossword is such a nice, nerdy activity that checks my boxes. 

The crossword has been my longest, most-sustained routine during COVID-19 times. Everything else that I’d started with as much vigor fizzled out within weeks: yoga or walks or video calls. If there’s anything I can say I’ve learned thanks to the pandemic, it is that it’s OK if routines don’t stick. I wonder how long the crossword phase will last, but like I used to say at the end of every lovely vacation, I’m glad it happened, more so than sad it’s over. 

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(This story was prepared for an “Imagine Another World” online storytelling workshop held October 28, 2020.)

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