Grounding the Telling of Others' Stories in Ethical Practice: An Interview with Syrga Kanatbek Kyzy

Editor’s Note: StoryCenter is best known for supporting people in sharing stories from their own, first-person point of view, so we were excited to partner in the fall of 2021 on a special training for U.S.-based communications staff at John Snow, Inc.—staff who typically tell stories about other people. (Note: we began with this group because of the challenges of working across time zones. We’ll lead the same workshop with international staff in early 2022.) We collaborated with JSI to design a hands-on training in ethical storytelling, rooted in our own Ethical Practice Guidelines and long history of work in public health and human rights storytelling in the U.S. and globally. Like our digital storytelling facilitator training process, the JSI workshop guided participants through a process of sharing a vulnerable story of their own, as a way of building empathy for those whose stories they are tasked with telling. Below, StoryCenter staff member Amy Hill interviews Syrga Kanatbek Kyzy, International Division Communications Officer at JSI, about her experience of sharing her story in this unique training.

AH: What made you interested in the recent storytelling ethics training at JSI?

SK: I’ve always been interested in storytelling. I’m from Kyrgyzstan, and in my culture, storytelling plays a big role—the role of teaching history and bringing people together. I used to love when my grandparents would tell me stories from the past. At the same time, I noticed and loved how my dad could tell stories that would make people laugh so hard, it was difficult for them to finish their food. He always knew how to tell it best, so people would be captivated. I wanted to be like him. 

Lately, I have been interested in how stories are told through graphics, images, and videos. In my free time, I enjoy learning about the power of storytelling. So, I was pleasantly surprised that one of my assignments at JSI would be supporting the training led by StoryCenter. I was able to learn a lot while supporting the creation of an Ethical Storytelling Practice Framework for the company. I believe it is vital to tell stories ethically, because sharing someone’s story brings its own responsibilities. 

AH: I remember so well years ago telling my first story in a digital storytelling workshop, and the struggle I had, over what to include of my own experiences of family dysfunction and abuse. Grappling with this extended well beyond the workshop, in terms of my decisions about when and where to show that story. The entire process led me to co-found our Silence Speaks program, which for years has focused on women’s rights storytelling. Can you talk a little bit about what it was like for you to share a story from your life, in the story circle we did during session two of the JSI training? What story did you share?

SK: It was not something new to me, to share a story of my own. Since I came to the United States as an exchange student in 2013, I learned the value of sharing stories. In the beginning, I have to admit, it wasn’t easy. I remember my very first public speaking assignment: we had to make a video, and I could not watch myself talking, so I covered my eyes to finish listening to what I created, in order to evaluate myself. I also remember a time when I had to present in front of people, and my mouth completely dried out. So it has been a long process for me to learn to speak in front of an audience, let alone share a personal story. But in my opinion, when you’re sharing a story, you get a chance to connect with people in the audience and learn something to improve for the next time.

The story I shared in the JSI training that you led was about my experience of being interviewed and my extended family's reaction to me telling my story. The story of a girl from a remote village who used to ride a donkey to school, the eldest in a family of eight children who learned English at the age of 14 and received a competitive scholarship from the U.S. State Department to go to America for a year and live with a host family, was very interesting for people both in the U.S. and back home in Kyrgyzstan. At the time of the interview, I was going to college in the U.S. with plans of returning home after graduating. I was contacted by journalists and people from local newspapers in my country, who wanted to feature my story. 

My very first interviews were exciting, and people’s reactions were better than I expected: supportive and proud. But after reading those interviews, I realized that I was leaving out important parts of my journey—mainly, the challenges I had faced. I started thinking about the goal of sharing my story. I did not want it to be another simplistic “feel good” story. I wanted girls and boys from similar difficult backgrounds to know that good outcomes are possible, and give them hope. For that, I had to include that I did not come from a wealthy family—my parents are self-sufficient farmers. Also, I wanted to open up about my father’s dependence on alcohol: how it affected my family and at times even motivated me to keep going. Many people struggle with alcoholism back home, but because it is highly stigmatized, and the public is uninformed, people believe it is a personal weakness and a shameful family matter. It’s hard to address the issue openly, because alcohol dependence affects not only the person who is drinking but the people around them in many different ways: psychologically, economically, and sometimes physically. 

So I wanted girls and boys from families like mine to know that there is something worth striving for, that they can have a different, much better life. But with those intentions, I did not think about how my extended family would react. A few months after the interview where I talked about my journey and the challenges along the way was published, I visited my extended family. My aunt was very upset. Over dinner, she started telling me how much I had hurt my family’s name by talking about my father being an alcoholic. She went on for hours about how I disrespected my entire family, and I should be ashamed. She even said it was my fault that my father drank, and claimed that he is not an alcoholic. I could not believe it. Yes, my father is her brother, but I am his daughter, and I grew up with him. Obviously, there is so much trauma and shame around alcoholism, for my aunt. At the end, she asked me to leave her house, and I did. Since then, my aunt has acted as though nothing happened, which I guess is her way of coping—so I let it go.

AH: That sounds like a painful experience, and yet clearly you learned so much from it. You talked about this story in the large group of people who attended the JSI training, after the story circle. What takeaways from it do you feel are relevant for JSI and other NGOs tasked with telling the stories of people they work to support?

SK: I guess just the importance of trying hard to hear from the perspective of a storyteller, trying to be in their shoes. Considering what it means to share not just any story, but one that makes you very vulnerable. And thinking through what the potential consequences of telling a sensitive story might be, and how we can make sure people do not get hurt—not only physically, but also psychologically. They might be okay sharing their own stories because they have done a good amount of thinking about the issue, but others in their immediate family or community might not be comfortable with the story being public. Their communities might be very close, where people know each other very well, and sharing stories may create uncomfortable situations. 

In my case, I knew what I was doing, based on previous interviews where I learned about this process. But if you’re working with a storyteller who is sharing a difficult story for the first time, you need to make sure to ask them about potential risks and how to avoid them. For instance, by maintaining the anonymity of a storyteller, not naming names of people they know, or the name of their village or town, not featuring photographs of the storyteller … things like that.

AH: Those are great ideas and are all things we talk about regularly in our digital storytelling workshops. For you as a storyteller, if you had to do it again, how might you interact differently with the journalists who wanted to hear your story?

SK: I would ask first why they want to do it—why they want to interview me—and who is benefitting from hearing my story. I would not be afraid to say no, or to ask to change things that I did not like. And definitely, I would ask that I be allowed to read the final draft before it is published. I had a few opportunities which taught me each time how I wanted to improve my interaction with media representatives. I do not think I would have changed opening up about my father, even though my family might feel otherwise. Yes, it is my family's story, but what I shared is what I lived through and observed, and it’s my right to decide whether or not to talk about such things. Especially if there is a small chance this story might help someone to have hope. I know I would have been very reassured to read this story back when I was 14.

AH: I think JSI is really lucky to have you, on staff. Having some humility in how the telling of people’s stories is approached feels crucial. Too often, “stories” become separated from the lives they are drawn from, and this can easily dehumanize people. How do you think the organization can learn from your experience, and how can they improve how they tell the stories of the work they’re doing all around the world, to improve people’s lives?

SK: I think that doing training on ethical storytelling and beginning to create specific ethics guidelines that everyone will follow has been a great step towards improving communication practices at JSI, and I hope we will continue on this path. I have to say that in some parts of the world, conversations around ethical storytelling might not have started yet. A wonderful opportunity will be extending the workshop to include staff from the countries where we work, which I know will happen in the coming months. Hearing their points of view, experiences, and suggestions will be phenomenal. This will give everyone at JSI a chance to learn from each other and be on the same page as an organization about ethical approaches to storytelling, especially when it’s a big part of our job as communication staff.

View stories created in one of our international collaborations with JSI, and, if you’re interested in exploring how your organization or group might benefit from customized training on storytelling ethics, please reach out to Amy Hill, amylenita@storycenter.org.