Be Valiant
by Sabreen Parray, Srinagar, India
The 29th of April 2021 was a day when body aches, a sore throat, and a fever didn't seem like a common and insignificant infection for which I prefer conventional home remedies. Instead, these symptoms were nerve wracking. It was too late to go for the test that day. The night was cold and long. I couldn't sleep, and I prayed that the test would be negative so that I could sit for an exam that was scheduled in three days. I had been preparing for three months. I also wanted to fast and be with my family during Ramadan.
The next day, I went for a test. I was trembling with apprehension and scared to be alone for 14 days, in case I tested positive. The sample was collected, and as I was not in a state to stand for too long, I sat on a dilapidated bench, looking at weary faces and the helplessness of the people around, and at the same time seeing the strength and courage of the frontline warriors.
My name was called, and guess what? I was positive for COVID-19. I collected the report, put all my strength together, and tried not to collapse. The first thing that hit my mind was the need to inform people with whom I had been in close contact, so they could get tested. When I reached home, I went straight to my room– my happy space was no longer happy but became a quarantine room where I had to stay alone for 14 days.
I started breathing heavily, my oxygen level started dipping, my body burned with fever, and eventually, my appetite and sense of smell and taste bid me goodbye. The first five days were difficult– unbearable body aches, fever, constant coughing, and dizziness were frustrating. Messages and calls from people were overwhelming. I was lucky to have everything at my disposal, but nothing materialistic seemed to have any significance. I missed seeing my family, being with them, having them around, I missed the fresh morning breeze, I missed the open spectacular skies, I missed the fresh air, I missed my normal routine.
Eventually, my symptoms started to improve, and I decided to go for re-testing. The report was negative. The fight was over. I was ecstatic that I had defeated the virus, and I was a victor.
I was lucky to survive. Amidst all the chaos and during the isolation period, I learned to be more grateful. I stopped thinking about opportunities that I missed because of having COVID-19. I stopped dwelling on the negative aspects that came along with the pandemic. I learned not to force anything, because anything forced is not worth fighting for. Whatever flows, flows. Whatever crashes, crashes. I promised myself more compassion. I promised myself not to stress over ANYTHING.
I felt that my parents are undoubtedly the greatest blessing. I’m grateful for them for every second of my life. I don't have to fill every minute with a task just to feel productive. The email can wait. Notifications can be ignored. Text messages can be read later.
What really matters and needs immediate attention is how happy you are inside, and how at peace you are with your own self.