Heaven and Hell

By Bria East, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, U.S.

My son was due March 8th, 2020, before the pandemic. It was only known as his great grandmother’s birthday; she couldn’t wait to meet him. Unfortunately, my son was delivered three weeks early, due to pregnancy complications. And on March 8th, 2020, we were burying his great grandmother.

So 2020 wasn’t at all starting off how we expected, and it wouldn’t end how we expected either. While sitting in a Walmart full of empty shelves and nothing more, I began to cry. I couldn’t find formula or diapers for my newborn, we had just lost a family member dear to my heart and I didn’t know what to do next. But I guess God did– he took four more family members in four months and spared my child but not his cousin born just weeks before him.

By June we were permanently changed. My engagement to my child’s father on the 4th of July seemed like the most unexpected surprise, but it had been in fact been planned for a year. After being proposed to, my attention shifted to the wedding planning and focusing on our little family in our little bubble. For a while, we coasted quietly through the rest of year indoors. Our son celebrated his first birthday with a small group of family members, and we somehow pulled off a wedding when a date opened at the Atlantic City Country Club.

Our 2021 has been full of blessings, including buying our first home. After the year we had prior, our guard is always up. My uncle passed away days after his 50th birthday and two weeks before our wedding … my grandfather passed a month after that. People die, even loved ones, but people also live, because those dark moments shake you to your core and in some cases awaken you.

We celebrate our son and our loved ones who’ve passed, we cherish every single moment and laugh with each other, not because we don’t know when we’ll die, but because we know we will one day and want to leave one another many memories to hold onto.