Luxury of a Funeral
By Ati Nurbaiti, South Tangerang, Banten province, Indonesia
I never knew that burials in peacetime could be a luxury. Funerals are often family obligations; the weather is mostly hot in Indonesia, so sometimes we would rather not go.
But COVID-19 has turned funerals into coveted valuables, the chillingly robbed right of a person in death. Our hearts turn heavy at every piece of news of a passing friend, relative, or stranger, whom hospital authorities decide must be buried with the special protocol. My young niece was one of them; she had cancer, but with suspected complications, she could not have a proper funeral. Instead, she was buried at a public cemetery far east of the capital, where hundreds of unidentified persons are buried, apart from those buried with the COVID-19 protocol, which only a few family members can observe from a distance.
So we imagined how hard it had been for her mother– my cousin– to say goodbye, after going back and forth to the hospital for weeks to care for her. But we could not visit my cousin, as she is in self-isolation. We just sent her a big plastic food container of traditional “rempeyek” crackers, to help ensure she would at least nibble something, and also banana leaf-wrapped rice cakes filled with chicken, and notebooks and felt pens for her to sketch or scribble, to help pour her heart out.
Her ex-husband had died a few months before the pandemic, her youngest and only son died years ago from illness, so she has lost both children besides their father. When she received the simple cheer-up package with our handwritten notes, she was so happy– “I’m not all alone yet,” she texted. She’s on my shortlist of people we need to visit asap. Don’t know when.
In a number of places in the country, ugly squabbles have broken out, where families have clashed with police and hospital staff over bodies of their loved ones, shouting their refusal of the COVID-19 burial protocol. They snatched the bodies from the morgues and ambulances, even though the hospitals provide the basic religious rites with hospital staff and a few family members. The families instead insisted on proper rites and funerals, ignoring the risk of contamination when the body is washed or dressed. They ignored explanations on why their loved ones had to buried with the safety protocol, either because he or she was a patient waiting for swab test results or had died of comorbidity.
Other clashes have occurred where communities refused burials even with the protocol, in their towns or villages, delaying burials for hours as they insisted they could be exposed to the virus. The buried body of one nurse had to be dug up and moved to a burial plot for employees of the hospital where she had worked, as locals of her hometown had strongly rejected her burial in their area.
Once it is much safer and less of a hassle to travel, I hope to go on a short trip with my family.
Never have I imagined thinking that an ordinary burial, when the time comes, would be nice too.